Our most cherished friends are our BFFs and are not strictly the proclivity of school girls. A mutual relationship regardless of age or gender is sometimes formed quickly, others over time, some lasting a lifetime. Based on trust, honesty, mutual affection, reliability, compatibility, respect, ability to be ourselves and acceptance of each other, foibles and all. The intimacy of the relationship is often candid, especially amongst women who share each other’s lives, the good, bad and the ugly. Unabashedly swapping details of marital problems, sex, weight struggles, men, bad hair days, career or not and children. Instinctively speaking the same language, they can be relied upon for support with a ready ear to listen and shoulder to cry on during the emotional turmoil of life adversities, the friendship very different to that of men.
A landmark UCLA study, suggests that women’s friendships actually counteracts stress. Whereby during the stress phase, oxytocin is released as part of the stress response which buffers the flight or fight response, counters stress and creates a calming effect, which does not occur in men. Men in comparison produce high levels of testosterone during stress, which seems to reduce the effects of oxytocin and is a probable cause why women outlive men. Findings from social psychology, sociology and anthropology also reveal friendships are vital to the human condition makes us healthier; boosts our immune system; fights illness and depression; speeds recovery; slows aging and prolong life.
Not all BFFs however are created equally, each bring different gifts and personalities. We all no doubt have some of these BFF personalities in our life:
The Pragmatist
Matter-of-fact, her advice is usually good, if not gentle. Telling it like it is, she is not afraid to tell you, whining about your hated job is not proactive, but finding another is; to leave and be damned because staying in an abusive relationship is futile and dangerous. She is of the belief we are all ultimately responsible for the quality of our lives and is just the person to encourage and help us out of our comfort zone and towards our goal.
The Gossip
We never fail to be astounded that she knows everything about everybody, undeniably some of it riveting. When she texts “OMG! Call me, you will not believe what I have just found out”, we immediately call. Who doesn’t like hearing a bit of gossip? For those with their hands up, what can I say other than, you are an exceptional person. However, tell her a secret at your peril.
The Comic
Side-splitting laughter guaranteed. You wish you could be equally comedic. She is always a welcome visitor at any time, more so when we are feeling blue. You love her mimic of your least favourite person. A great fun friend.
The Pessimist
We love her dearly, but she is such a killjoy who foreshadows difficulties. The cup is always ‘half empty’ in her world, where catastrophe is not far off. If her perspective could change ever so slightly, you know she will be a happier person. Definitely the cousin of ‘Ms Paranoid’.
Johnny Come Lately
As well intentioned as she means to be and despite giving her half an hour pre-starts, she is perpetually late, usually with a supposed justification tale. She just cannot be relied upon with regards to important time sensitive circumstances.
The Alter Ego
You want to be like her – the confident extravert, life and soul of the party, who fears nothing and confronts everything head on. Whereas you are the timid introvert, who yearns to be more assertive and vivacious
Mary Poppins
The eternal optimist, she envisages hopeful outcomes as opposed to wishful thinking. She is the ‘go-to’ in emergencies with her bag of remedies when our bra strap unexpectedly snaps, hem becomes undone; inconveniently a button falls off or cutting your finger, she even has Elastoplast to the ready.
Fashionista
An Aficionado of fashion, she knows the rules and best buys. The epitome of chic regardless of wearing jeans and t-shirt. She just has it going on and can’t fail to admire her. She makes a great shopping companion.
The Drama Queen
Life is a series of happenings not necessarily major, but becomes melodramatic events seemingly reveled in. She’s not one for a quiet life, which can be exhausting. To call or not to call in an emergency is highly debatable.
Ms Money Bags
She earns a magnificent salary and is very philanthropic. We all adore her, she gives magnificent birthday gifts and treats. However being benevolent, she is exploited by her counterpart ‘The Miser’.
Male Gay BFF
Every woman should have one. He does not want to sleep with you, he gives you a male perspective which is invaluable, especially if he says you look hot in an outfit. You can take it as true and rejoice, without any innuendo intended. He’s a great companion for those events hubby is not interested in, for example watching a romantic film or shopping for that elusive outfit.
The Frenemy
She’s the turncoat BFF bitch, whose grudges and jealousy turn to bitterness. Her disguise usually unveiled with jibes and backhanded compliments, the friendship usually ending in a break up.
Our BFFs are invaluable, they make us happy and keep us sane.
