Today, etiquette is looser and less obsessive. As a consequence, social courtesy has declined in ever-changing social norms.
It begs the question: Are social media, texting, technology and liberalism causing a change in politeness? Or is being bombarded with news, communication and a fast-paced life engendering apathy to basic civilities? Common courtesy and respect seem to be out and notoriety is in, with swearing losing its shock value. Yet, snobbery lives on.
Baby Boomers (born between 1946 and 1964) are advocates of the adage “manners maketh man”. They captured the zeitgeists of their generation. Raised in disciplined households, etiquette was held in great esteem. Doors were held open for others. People could not put their elbows on the table and some of the first words learnt were ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’.
There are numerous golden rules of etiquette. For example, a fundamental part of public decorum is covering the mouth if yawing, coughing or sneezing, not chewing with the mouth open, licking fingers, and picking teeth. However, although we all have bodily functions, offensive offenders are snorting and sniffling. These are vile to listen to by anyone’s standard, as are burping and wind.
Equally important, though considered old-fashioned, are deportment and poise. Regarded as ladylike attributes, this includes dress sense, which must be gauged for social occasions. Ladies beware, bearing too much skin, plunging necklines and thigh high slit dresses raises eyebrows, questions your class quota and entices perverts. Celebrities have a penchant for this styling and can get away with it; non-celebrities, not so much.
Lateness is rude and disrespectful, though a five—to ten-minute delay window is pardonable. It earns the reputation of being unreliable. However, in various cultures, this is more relaxed.
Bad drivers cause frustration to the point of retaliation. Regardless, overusing the horn, rude hand gestures and flashing slower drivers are just asking for trouble in an age of rage.
With ubiquitous texts, tweets, emails and Whatsapp, the inclination is for brevity to the exclusion of proper sentences, good grammar and spelling. Note that writing in capitals is tantamount to rudeness and salutations, Dear, Hello, Thanks, Bye and Best Wishes, are sometimes necessary. That said, acronyms are a modern mainstay the English Oxford Dictionary has taken on board.
Conversation is interactive communication and developing conversational skills and etiquette is essential to socialisation. However, be cautious of etiquette quicksand subjects such as extreme opinions, think – money, religion, sex, the word ‘hate’, death and divorce. Equally, having a loose tongue where some comments are near impossible to retract.
In conclusion, a particular grey area of social media is that it is courteous to check with family and/or friends to seek their permission before posting photographs of their gatherings on social media.
Good luck, Baby Boomers, as we navigate changing times.
Read: NEW HORIZONS
